ICAN helped me "man up." What I thought a man was, was a twisted and tainted view from years of criminal mind set and alcohol and drug addiction which in turn fueled my in and out of lock up lifestyle since a youth. Being physically, emotionally, and mentally abused as a youngster confused me and distorted my ability to love and be loved correctly. In the process I lacked in the area of communication and expression to others and myself. These behaviors went from the home to the streets. Thus began years of pain and disregard for many people including myself.